notabluesbro | 15th Confession [Action/Emo]

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15th Confession [Action/Emo]

[Well, things were better. Meryl was back, after all, and he was relieved to know it.

But... Wolfwood always has been a thinker. And since the incident with Legato and Kaori, he's unable to find solace in much. Did he really do what was right? He—he tried what he could to do what Vash tried to force into his head: tried to find the route where no one died. But in order to do that, he had to become some sort of shitty dog in Legato's shadow. He knew the son-of-a-bitch hoped for it, planned for it, loved every second of tugging that leash.

He's avoided any real talking with anyone, really. Stayed in the apartment, avoided any real contact with Vash, did the usual Wolfwood trait of solitude: shutting yourself away from people when you have a thought that won't let you go. He'll bounce back from it, he surmises. Things will clear up for him later. He has to force himself to think that, in the end, it won't impact him. But still...

"Tell Legato that Rem was wrong—tell him that there is no worth in people, or in the illusion of peace."

"... whether that's true or not, you're worth something right now, okay? You don't ... You don't have to be useful by some guy's definition to be important."]

[Wolfwood's out and about today, albeit the shade around him suggests he's not much for enjoying the day, whether he means to look that way or not. Right now, he's frustrated with himself. And it shows. He decides to spend a few hours at the battle dome—takes his pent-up aggravations out on imaginary evils. He's not going to bother masking his weapon from anyone, because really? It's almost starting to feel like his trying to hide that part of him from this place. Every shot is precise and deadly. Mechanical and automatic. All what he learned, years ago, all denying the basic fundamentals of Vash's way of life. But he feels it, in his fingertips. He hesitates so minutely that he KNOWS he's doing it, regardless of how smooth his motions are.

...Dammit all.

Then he goes by the clinic, to see if Kaori's still there. She should be, he's thinking. But if she's not, then maybe that's even better. Maybe it means she was healed up and isn't miserable. And then, after that... after that nervous bit of deciding to check on her. He's going to a bar—hell, any would do—and when he does, he opens his journal and looks over that entry he'd been avoiding since he came back.

"How d'you prove you're worth something?"]

...Ha, you little moron.

[When he decides to finally return home, he's decidedly drunk, but like he hasn't done that in his lifetime. He's just more graceful than Vash—

ACK, my knee, that was a coffee table—

Maybe not so much.]

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[Blink. Blink, blink.

An audience. Great.

A familiar sort of audience.

All grown up now, huh, Nick?]

Oh. Hello.

[On second thought, maybe he should've just left her to her work; to be fair, he's an easily mesmerized kind of guy, when it's something as mystical as bending the will of water with your hand.

His features soften into an apologetic, sympathetic smile.]

Having an off-day?

[Katara reluctantly recognizes the beginning of a conversation, but is uninclined to release the water coating her arms.]

I couldn't sleep.

[She's becoming very good at this 'not lying and not telling the truth' thing. It's very sad.]

What about you? What are you doing out here so late?

[Don't worry about it, Wolfwood is pretty good at that, himself. But he figures that, with all that rage and her inability to sleep... she was thinking. Working some mental wheels over a thing she was enraged or confused or pained or everything about.

Familiar...

His smile picks up a little more.]

I guess I have a lot on my mind, too. Makes me too anxious to sleep.

But should you be outside in this weather?

[Sour glance. Hello, you're out in the same weather too, and who died and made you the arbiter of what was healthy for her anyway?]

I'm used to this kind of weather. I'll be fine - I'm not the one who grew up on a desert planet.

[There might be some awareness and concern buried deep down in there. After all, she saw his entry after they'd had their snowball fight. He was newly 'returned' to normal. And out walking the woods at ungodly hours. None of these things point to happy and healthy.]

Edited 2011-01-14 07:48 (UTC)

[Funny how the main issue was Legato and Vash, but it was true—a few of those points where a little helpful in dampening his spirits. He's pretty unaffected by her sourness, anyway; used to those sorts of looks. Learned how to just smile and wave 'em off.

He shifts his cross on his shoulder—oh yeah, he always has that as an adult, in case it's been a while, miss. His kid self was a little lighter, weight-wise, eh?

And yet, his shoulders feel heavier than usual, even with the cross in mind.]

Ouch, you're ready for the rebuttals and everything, aren't you? Then again, you have a pretty good point.

...But—ah, well. I guess I'm finding myself more comforted by all this open green space, rather than a room.

[I know trees can light on fire real easy, right? They're really rare, so I don't wanna see anything bad happen to 'em.

With a sigh, she streams the water coating her arms towards a tree - the movement is casual, but it does hit her target precisely. Her shoulders slump a little in the release, as if now that she's no longer holding her weapon it's all she can do to hold herself.

But he was standing there watching and now he's standing there talking, smiling, and she has the feeling that unless she tells him to leave he'll just keep standing there. And for some reason, she doesn't want to do that. So she will make an attempt to be more civil, even though she's been civil all day and really just wants to wear herself into a state of unconsciousness. ~~It's too bad she hasn't discovered that there are more fun ways of doing this than working yourself to the bone, but she still only orders hot chocolates at the Good Spirits.~~]

The wind settled down earlier - it's not so bad if you keep moving.

...So what should I call you now?

[Since this is easier than 'Do you remember' and less inviting of a return question than 'What's wrong?']

[He itches the back of his head at that, suddenly a little more awkward. Maybe even a little more like 'Nicholas'? He can't help but find the name so outdated and unwanted, which was pretty cruel to his childhood, not that he could really help himself. Wasn't much of a childhood to begin with.]

Mmm... well. I don't really go much by Nicholas anymore—it's part of my name, but not something most people call me.

[I ditched the kid a while ago.]

But I'm not about to correct you on anything any time soon.

[He gives her a quick look, and then gives that tree a once-over, before straightening up. You're not the only one wanting to know if something's wrong. But Wolfwood's a little more blunt than that.]

Upset at the Malnosso?

[That was frustrating in that - it didn't answer her question, didn't tell her whether or not he actually remembered anything, and then followed it up with invasive poking and guess-taking. Because she somehow hadn't managed to make it clear, out in the middle of the forest past midnight, doing her best to work herself into a state where she couldn't resist sleep, that poking was unwelcome.

This, sadly enough, will result in a small explosion.]

That doesn't answer my question. And if you're going to be insulting [Everyone's upset at them, (why do you think I'm out here!), just calm down silly little girl, your emotions are getting in the way again - you're transparent, your pain is obvious and just like everyone else's - I can see right through you - you're seeing the wrong me.] you can just go enjoy the green open space somewhere else.

[She is really, really tired of people who are older than her thinking they have the right to question her, to make assumptions, simply because of their age. She's even more tired (due to her conversation with an extremely frustrating individual) of people assuming that they knew her, what she'd think about things, what her responses were going to be - when they didn't know each other that well. And she's exhausted. And worried. And scared. And grieving. Sorry, Wolfwood, but asking like you've got the right to know when she was out by herself in the middle of no where makes you a convenient target for her emotions. She did like you, though, the younger you - and even this you, though she's hardly spoken with you. And though she's snapped up straight and is meeting his gaze firmly, there's something vulnerable in the corners of her eyes that says - yeah, this is the one time someone might get her to talk about it.]

Edited 2011-01-14 23:03 (UTC)

[His expression remains about the same, but then, everything around his eyes seemed exhausted from all the mental gnawing. His gaze, though, is firm and unsurprised.]

You can call me Wolfwood now... but if you wanted to know more than that, you should've just asked about more than just what my name is. I'm not very good at answering subtle things, even when I hear them.

[After meeting her gaze for a moment, he sits nearby, setting the cross on his shoulder.]

I remember everything—a lot of things I would have preferred to just forget about, even. I'm not as fond of my childhood and everything it involves like other people are. I'd rather avoid it, if it's possible.

[He figures you deserve it. He's not... exactly... like Vash is. He'd prefer to keep things hidden, but if someone really wants to know? He'll let them know. He doesn't mind digging out a few skeletons. Not all of them—certain ones, never—but if it answered her questions, he really was just too tired to fight that off.]

[She sighs again, some of the fight leaving her because - hey, she's mature enough to recognize that he's not one of the ones she's actually angry with. Her eyes go a little dull with disappointed weariness all the same, though.]

If I wanted to know the other things, I would have asked. [She is perfectly capable of asking horribly personal questions if necessary, after all.] And maybe I'm curious, but for now all I really wanted to know is -

[And just then, the wind picks up. Katara wraps her arms around herself and shivers]

- what your name is now. And why you're out here, if you want to talk about that. That's all.

[Because, yeah, even exhaustion and pain and grief can't quite squash her 'Want to help' impulses and she feels somewhat responsible for you now, Nick. Wolfwood. Whoever you are.]

Edited 2011-01-15 00:02 (UTC)

[He laughs a little under his breath at that. A sort of resigned, unsure one.]

Why I'm out here... I guess I'm trying to out-walk all of my convictions and fears.

[He knows part of this is Vash's business, and it's hard to say whether or not Katara knows Vash as well as she could to know personal problems, but fuck it—that spikey-headed fool needed to just let things naturally flow.

Wolfwood was a private man. But not right now. Right now, he didn't even really mind it, with everything finally emptying his system. He'd been through the same thing Katara's been doing right now, at the dome. Hell, if someone had come up to him, he might've had the same sharp response, the same underlying rage that seemed to transfer to weapons and skills all too easily.]

A few nights ago, someone's life was in danger, and in order for me to make sure everyone came out of it safely, I had to say some pretty horrible things to a close friend of mine... Beyond the regret of talking to them like that, I'm more alarmed that it felt like I was just talking to myself.

[He bows his chin, smiling, gripping the arm of the cross.

It was surprisingly easy to confess. Flows well. Perhaps he just learned that admitting your feelings—whether it be to an altar, the woman you care for, a minor acquaintance—wasn't so bad.]

It's all complicated, and there are a lot of different dilemmas in my head from this one ordeal that I need to straighten out if I ever want peace of mind.

[He looks over, a defeated expression on his face. But still a pleased smile, as if it really were a feat to overcome, just speaking.]

I don't confess these sorts of things too often, sadly.

How was that?

[She looks at him, a wry smile cracking her weariness as the moon occasionally surfaces behind the clouds.] Pretty good.

[Her tone carries wry warmth and empathy and then she shrugs, the humor dropping from her features until she's all earnest - if still somewhat raw - attentive listening.] If you think talking about it more will help, I'll listen - or if you want to get going to keep sorting it out, I don't want to keep you.

Heh, well... Honestly, I don't I'll ever really figure things out. But I'd like to think most people have doubts or worries, even up until the day they die. It seems like it's only natural.

[His gaze is soft when he looks at her from the corner of his eye, but when he looks ahead it hardens into something serious.]

You may already know, but there's someone from my world here who's very dangerous. If anything—I'd want you to know that anyone who gets too close to Vash or myself... even Meryl—they're in danger.

[He fishes through his pocket, pulling out a lighter as he speaks.]

...Granted, he's dangerous in general, but it only gets worse when people are connected.

Edited 2011-01-15 00:47 (UTC)

[...just great.]

...if I gave up on a friendship just because someone might hurt me because of it I'd be a pretty lousy friend. And I think you and Vash will find that a lot of people here will feel that way... and that a lot of people here are dangerous.

[They went up against Aku for the sake of a friend, after all. Whoever this person here is can't be as bad as that.

And, after all, she's pretty dangerous herself - and if she can't take care of the problem, she's friends with pirates and ninjas... and outlaws, apparently. Katara sure can pick 'em.]

Not give up on friendship, but be as cautious as possible—if you see a man with blue hair and yellow eyes? Don't even look at him. He's not like any normal enemy. Hell, if he were, I wouldn't be telling anyone this; I'd expect them to be able to handle themselves.

...However, he's not that sort of person. He aims to torture his victims physically and mentally. And to do that? He can control anyone's body he chooses.

[He glances at her.]

If he wanted, he could take control of anyone here and use them to kill one another. He hides behind captives, destroys people's wills, and won't be entirely content until people hear his message. He doesn't fear death, and he can't really be stopped any other way.

[A shadow crosses her face that is both fear - oh, she can't help it, one of the worst nights of her life was spent like that - secrecy, and calculation. And then there's the guilt, the horrible gnawing 'I am wrong, I am wrong, I knew that this was wrong, I knew it' that clogs at her throat and the ruthless determination, 'I will not let this rule me, I will do everything I can to stop this' that narrows her eyes.]

How does he do it? Do you know what kind of technique he uses?

It's all mental; no strings attached. He can sense people's minds all around him, like some sort of weird radar. And when you're in his area? There's nothing stopping him from taking you over.

I've already experienced it once, here in Luceti. Your muscles? They don't listen to you, no matter how much you try and move. He manipulates nerves and muscles. Do things like break your arm at the elbow, if he chooses to. Can make you turn your weapon on yourself, if he wants to kill you right off.

[He pauses—and as awful as it sounds, he knows it puts things into perspective when he says:]

In our world, he was able to empty out entire cities. Made an entire town get up and walk out of the place. No one knows where most of them went, but they were gone. Sometimes, you're not even conscience of what he makes you do. That's what's awful. Fortunately, there's a power cap here, so honestly, the only way I can think of overpowering and beating him would be to have a whole group after him at once.

...But there'd be causalities.

[He was almost 100 percent certain of that. Someone would die.]

Edited 2011-01-15 03:34 (UTC)

[Mental? That was new. With her powers, and even with Shikamaru, there had been something physical - it had left the mind free.

...take a whole city and make them leave? That's terrifying.

But her brow only furrows. It's hard, but the amount of people he'd be able to do that to here would have to be limited - and Wolfwood is right, they'd need a lot of people. But if that was coordinated... Sokka wasn't there. She couldn't go to Caesar, he'd already proven that he only cared about the village's safety when it was convenient for him to do so - individuals were not what he viewed as part of his concern. But Shikamaru... he'd want to know about this anyway.]

Maybe. But that's a risk when you go into any battle. It's better if the people who can fight would take someone like that on than letting him walk around and pick on the ones who can't, or pick people off one at a time. I know someone who you could talk with about coordinating this, if you want. But I'd have to talk to him first.

[Wolfwood stares off into the distance, face expressionless.]

And when we finally get to him, then what? ...Will you and the others kill him?

[She closes her eyes for a moment, breathes. Then looks back up at him. Even in her current state of rage and grief, the memory of the people she's killed only adds another layer of anger and loss. She misses her own world, where in battle she could go to immobilize first and if she killed someone in battle she knew why she had to. This place...]

I don't know - there could be a better way. There should be. Or else, what, we'd just have to keep killing him and killing him until the Death Penalty took his powers away... but even that can be removed here. That doesn't mean it's not worth talking about to see if we can find a way to stop him.

The problem is, Legato hardly cares what interrupts his plans—he'll keep at them. Even if he's killed, even if he's gotten death penalties, even if he's caged, he'll keep trying to do what he does best.

I hate to sound so hopeless about it, but honestly, it's what I know...

As long as death isn't permanent here, there's not much we can do.

[He shifts.]

...But maybe you're right. Maybe trying to weaken him is the best we all can do.

It doesn't hurt to talk about it, to at least see what we can do. [She looks down for a moment, her hands unconsciously clenching nto fists at her sides.] There's so little that we can actually do here. If there's a chance to make it so that the people here are safer, even for a little while... at least that's something.

[He smiles at her again, after a moment of silent. It's tired still, but appreciative.]

You're right. It's something, huh?

[He wonders if that's why she's out here upset, if the way her fists clenched at that meant more than just momentary frustration; did she have something she felt she was supposed to protect? Something that, recently, she couldn't, even if she would have put all her heart into it?

I wonder...]

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