33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

[notabluesbro]

[When the voices suddenly come on, the entire screen's black--prooobably because someone's ass is crushing the journal. Maybe Wolfwood's. Of course, he's too busy not noticing because-]

Iiii don't think that's right, needle noggin.

What? That's what the instructions say! You're just being stubborn because you got it all wrong...!

[there's the sound of waving paper] Ha, very funny, you being right.

I am right!

It's upside down, you idiot.... Why did I ask for your help again?

[...mumble mumble] There're so many steps...

[grumble grumble] It's a demon crib; it just won't let us build it. She's going to have a baby and we'll be stuck in the front mashing crib legs together--and could you get those damn cats outta' here! They're distracting!

Aww, what? They're just hungry! Maybe if someone fed them like a decent preacherman.

That's not my job! I don't want cats--!

[... Are you two married or something. Milly would wonde--CRACK]
....

Spikey.

... A-aha. Yeah?

Did you break it.
.... 

WOLFWOOD NOOOOOO [CRACK

Oh look, you can see the two of them now! Wolfwood is very sweetly bending Vash's leg at an impossible angle in the middle of a sadly wilted crib that VASH RUINED GODDAMMIT]

ERUGHGH!! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY--

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A CRIB IN THIS PLACE?!

UNCLE! UNCLEEEEEE!!! MY LEG'S BREAKING, AAAAA--

A LEG FOR A LEG!!



THAT'S SORT OF HARSH--EIEIEIEIEI!!

[[ooc: ... dual-post. enjoy two idiots.]]

Comments

Re: Aaaaand done

[notabluesbro]

....

[oh god

He points to Vash, who is now successfully dropped and avoided.]


He broke it.


[throwin' friends under the bus: done in style]

[goldenglasses]

B-But I didn't mean it! I swear! [Point right back to Wolfwood.] He distracted me!

[thedicearecast]

[Oh shit, it's an angry Milly. RUN!





...Except the angry Milly is not yelling at Amelia. Huh.

Amelia can get behind this. Mostly by standing off to the side and crossing her arms while she glares at the guilty men in the room. And not saying anything. If she speaks, the pregnant woman's wrath might be turned on her.

Do not want.]

1/2

[stungunning]

I don't care who broke it or who distracted who, I just want it fixed and for you two to stop acting like great big babies! What sort of role models are you going to be if you're going to behave like this every time something bad happens? All of you standing around bellowing like a prize Tomas, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

[stungunning]

How could you do such a terrible thing and break a poor, innocent baby's bed? Where's my baby supposed to sleep now?

1/2

[notabluesbro]

[fjsadhfkjasdfhkadsjfhadskfj

MY WIFE IS FREAKING OUT I HATE YOU

GIVING VASH THE MOST DEADLY LOOK EVER RIGHT NOW


just wait until this is over]

[notabluesbro]

[BUT MEANWHILE, THE SHAME OF BEING TOLD OFF BY YOUR PREGGER WIFE]

Hey, hey, don't cry big girl! We'll get it fixed in no time; I'm sorry for the mess, but I swear, we'll get it done! We were just having a sore moment, that's aaaaall. [He pulls Vash over, looping an arm around his neck and acting buddy-buddy.

Even if that hold is a little... tight. Perhaps threatening.]

Isn't that right, Vash?? It's just a little misstep!

[goldenglasses]

[URK! Wolfwood! He can't BREATH! How is he suppose to answer if he can't breath!?

Oh, no wait. He can breath just enough.]

Y-yeah! Don't worry one bit Milly! [He wraps his own arm around Wolfwood's neck, as he attempts to stealthily slam his foot down on top of the preacher's.]

I'm sure I saw another crib at the shop if we can't fix this one! So don't worry even the tiniest bit!

[thedicearecast]

[Ouch. Amelia can't keep shooting death with her eyes when Milly gets all emotional like that. Vash and Wolfwood may be a lost cause, but the poor woman shouldn't have to be upset because of it.

So while the boys pretend to play nice while trying to kill each other, Amelia puts a hand on the other woman's shoulder.]

It'll be okay, Milly. Even Vash and Wolfwood aren't that hopeless. You'll have a place for your kid. There have to be a ton of ways to get a crib in a place like this. Like...magic. There's magic for everything else, there has to be furniture making magic too.

Right? [Amelia turns to the idiots in the room for confirmation, which she better get. Otherwise, there will be violence when Milly isn't looking.]

[stungunning]

[Sniff sniff.]

[...and then Vash has to go and mention a new crib in case they can't fix the current one and whoop. There she goes again.]

But I don't want another crib or a magic, I want this one, it's perfect!

[Hormones. They are in full swing.]

[notabluesbro]

[And then he bends back one of Vash's real fingers grumpily.]

Oh, honey, don't even worry about it! This one is perfect! That's why we'll all pitch in and make sure it's standing perfectly! Are we perfectly clear, Vash??

[PERFECTLY. CLEAR.]

[goldenglasses]

P-P-P-P-PERFECTLY! Perfectly clear!

O-ow.

Don't worry, Milly! We'll have this fixed in no time!

[Vash digs his heel into Wolfwood's foot harder, unable to use his other hand to come to his finger's rescue without alerting Milly.]