notabluesbro | 33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

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33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

[When the voices suddenly come on, the entire screen's black--prooobably because someone's ass is crushing the journal. Maybe Wolfwood's. Of course, he's too busy not noticing because-]

Iiii don't think that's right, needle noggin.

What? That's what the instructions say! You're just being stubborn because you got it all wrong...!

[there's the sound of waving paper] Ha, very funny, you being right.

I am right!

It's upside down, you idiot.... Why did I ask for your help again?

[...mumble mumble] There're so many steps...

[grumble grumble] It's a demon crib; it just won't let us build it. She's going to have a baby and we'll be stuck in the front mashing crib legs together--and could you get those damn cats outta' here! They're distracting!

Aww, what? They're just hungry! Maybe if someone fed them like a decent preacherman.

That's not my job! I don't want cats--!

[... Are you two married or something. Milly would wonde--CRACK]
....

Spikey.

... A-aha. Yeah?

Did you break it.
....

WOLFWOOD NOOOOOO [CRACK

Oh look, you can see the two of them now! Wolfwood is very sweetly bending Vash's leg at an impossible angle in the middle of a sadly wilted crib that VASH RUINED GODDAMMIT]

ERUGHGH!! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY--

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A CRIB IN THIS PLACE?!

UNCLE! UNCLEEEEEE!!! MY LEG'S BREAKING, AAAAA--

A LEG FOR A LEG!!

THAT'S SORT OF HARSH--EIEIEIEIEI!!

[[ooc: ... dual-post. enjoy two idiots.]]

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COME ON WOLFWOOD! I SAID I WAS SORRY! LET GO!

I'LL LET GO WHEN YOU GET ME A NEW CRIB.

[OH LOOK YOU HAVE TWO LEGS. LET'S JUST. BREAK BOTH. YES.]

I CAN'T GET YOU A NEW CRIB IF MY LEGS ARE BROKEN! ISN'T GOD SUPPOSE TO BE FORGIVING ANYWAY!?

I'M NOT GOD, YOU CAN DRAG YOURSELF BY YOUR TEETH!

I SAID I WAS SORRY! GET OF ME! YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY LIGHT! I CAN'T BREATH! I'M DYING! I'M REALLY DYING!

Edited 2012-04-19 00:46 (UTC)

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[That's it. Amelia has been forced to listen to the duo's nonsense for most of the morning because they're being idiots outside of their room. When the screams not only get louder, but suddenly come over her journal for a stereo effect?

She's done. So very done.]

YOU IDIOTS! [Yeah, now she's yelling too. And slamming her door before she stalks into the main room of the house.] What is wrong with you two?! Other people do still live here, you know. PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU TWO BEING STUPID ALL THE TIME!

[WINCE.

He pauses, one of Vash's legs under his arm as he pulls it painfully back.]

Oh... uh. Hey, Amelia.

[how's it going :|]

[What? We're being quiet now? Vash missed that memo.] AMELIA-CHAN! SAVE ME! HE'S GOING TO BREAK MY LEG! OWOWOWOWOWOW!

[Amelia's young. She still has dreams. Dreams of a day going by when no one acts dumb in the Trigun house.

...Like I said. Young.]

Don't "Hey Amelia" me. [Hands on the hips now. She's being serious.] Do you have any idea how long you've been at this?

[Vash doesn't get anything so nice, though. He's louder.] Yeah, well. You broke his crib. Loudly.

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done!

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Aaaaand done

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Wait. Wolfwood. Stop. Don't.

[Look, she tried to help.]

[I see what you're doing there, Nami. I see it.]

Ohhhh, I'm doing my goddamn beeeest.

It's like my arm is glued to his leg!

NO IT'S NOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! OW! OW OW! MERCY, MERCY! NAMI! HELP ME PLEASE!

Oh, you're asking for help? [You will never know how much she had to reel herself back from adding a 'now' on the end. B|] What do you think I'm trying to do? It's not Wolfwood's problem if he's stuck.

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This thread now magically taking place on the 16th |D

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so magical

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Heck, I bet this has happened more than once with these two anyway

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I could've sworn I replied to this 8|a

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[LOLOLOLOLOL can you hear the sound of this mystery person just laughing their head off? Because that's what he's doing. This is the best thing he's seen all day.]

....

What is that...?

[Squint, as he drops Vash's face into the ground roughly.]

My journal's going crazy again.

OH MY NOSE! GETOFFME! [Huh, maybe he can elbow his way out of here while Wolfwood is distracted by his journal.]

[pfffffffffffffffthahahahahaha why are you guys are amusing? you're giving souji cricks in his side from laughing too hard]

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[Wait. Something is broken? ...Gods, Vash, what did you do? With a quiet sigh Miyabi turns on her journal...only to catch the horrific sight of Vash's leg being bent into submission - and a very dangerous angle.

DEAR GODS.]

WA-WAIT! Don't break him! I can fix whatever's been broken! I can fix it! Don't do that!

[He spins Vash unceremoniously into a headlock, looking at the journal.]

A bargain for his life, then? What're your stakes, little gal?

GRAHHHH! SAVE ME MIYA! HE'S PURE EVIL!

Just don't really give him anything, okay? He's also a pure jerk.

[Dear gods, she's going to have to clobber this guy once she finds him. Waving her hands frantically to the camera, Miyabi urges him to just STOP.]

If you don't kill him, I'll fix whatever it is Vash broke in no time at all! I'll come over right away, too! Just don't break him.

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[...Oh dear, that sounds quite a lot like a murder attempt.]

Perhaps that crib leg could be nailed or screwed back on? I'd suggest glue, but that might be too flimsy.

[A beat.]

Also, congratulations for the addition to your family.

[Manners, he has them.]

Edited 2012-04-19 01:24 (UTC)

... [He lessens his hold on Vash into something that isn't painful. Lucky, lucky.]

Oh, thanks! It's been a pretty weird time since I learned.

Maybe Vash could nail it together...

[... squint]

Nah, he'd just make it a deathtrap for my poor kid.

I would not. I only broke it because YOU were distracting me! [That's his story and he's sticking to it!]

I doubt a deathtrap will be necessary. Surely it is not broken beyond childproof repair. ...Until the baby start crawling, at least.

[After that, all bets are off.]

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