33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

[notabluesbro]

[When the voices suddenly come on, the entire screen's black--prooobably because someone's ass is crushing the journal. Maybe Wolfwood's. Of course, he's too busy not noticing because-]

Iiii don't think that's right, needle noggin.

What? That's what the instructions say! You're just being stubborn because you got it all wrong...!

[there's the sound of waving paper] Ha, very funny, you being right.

I am right!

It's upside down, you idiot.... Why did I ask for your help again?

[...mumble mumble] There're so many steps...

[grumble grumble] It's a demon crib; it just won't let us build it. She's going to have a baby and we'll be stuck in the front mashing crib legs together--and could you get those damn cats outta' here! They're distracting!

Aww, what? They're just hungry! Maybe if someone fed them like a decent preacherman.

That's not my job! I don't want cats--!

[... Are you two married or something. Milly would wonde--CRACK]
....

Spikey.

... A-aha. Yeah?

Did you break it.
.... 

WOLFWOOD NOOOOOO [CRACK

Oh look, you can see the two of them now! Wolfwood is very sweetly bending Vash's leg at an impossible angle in the middle of a sadly wilted crib that VASH RUINED GODDAMMIT]

ERUGHGH!! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY--

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A CRIB IN THIS PLACE?!

UNCLE! UNCLEEEEEE!!! MY LEG'S BREAKING, AAAAA--

A LEG FOR A LEG!!



THAT'S SORT OF HARSH--EIEIEIEIEI!!

[[ooc: ... dual-post. enjoy two idiots.]]

Comments

[goldenglasses]

COME ON WOLFWOOD! I SAID I WAS SORRY! LET GO!

[notabluesbro]

I'LL LET GO WHEN YOU GET ME A NEW CRIB.

[OH LOOK YOU HAVE TWO LEGS. LET'S JUST. BREAK BOTH. YES.]

[goldenglasses]

I CAN'T GET YOU A NEW CRIB IF MY LEGS ARE BROKEN! ISN'T GOD SUPPOSE TO BE FORGIVING ANYWAY!?

[notabluesbro]

I'M NOT GOD, YOU CAN DRAG YOURSELF BY YOUR TEETH!

[goldenglasses]

I SAID I WAS SORRY! GET OF ME! YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY LIGHT! I CAN'T BREATH! I'M DYING! I'M REALLY DYING!

[notabluesbro]

You're not implying that I'm fat, are you? I've been doing my best [LEG TWIST] to stay in shape.

....derp

[goldenglasses]

OW OW OW OW! NO! You're not fat! OW! JUST - AHHHH! DON'T TWIST THAT LIKE THAT! that my lugs are weak!

OWOWOOWOW! IT'S REALLY NOT SUPPOSE TO BEND THAT WAY!

huehuehue 1/3

[notabluesbro]

[>:^| good. you're in misery--]

[notabluesbro]

Nyeow.

[notabluesbro]

[....


He glares at the black cat staring blankly at him.]

Oh, what, like you don't abuse him on a weekly basis, either.

[goldenglasses]

Help me Kuroneko! Don't forget! I'm the one that usually feeds you! [Okay, so that actually might be one of the girls, but he still sneaks them treats more than the preacher does! And no, he's not beneath asking a cat that was probably enjoying his pain two seconds ago for help.]

[notabluesbro]

... You are such a drama queen.

[Nyeow.]

[goldenglasses]

YOU'RE BREAKING MY LEG! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!

[notabluesbro]

You're begging a demonspawn cat to help you out of a leglock.

How is it you've survived in a desert full of outlaws again?

[He's content with letting that leg flop down now, sitting on Vash's back with his elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand. So under-impressed.]

[goldenglasses]

Well, for one, they generally just shot at me. They didn't try to crush me under their weight. [Maybe if he wiggles this way he can tip Wolfwood off him.]

[notabluesbro]

Aaaah, then this must be the one thing they did wrong. They should have used you like a bench.

[goldenglasses]

Luckily for me they didn't think to do something so pointlessly stupid.

[notabluesbro]

Did you say something? Because I could go back to snapping your leg if you're blabbering what I think you're blabbering.

[goldenglasses]

Me? Blabber about something? Oh no! I would never blabber! Especially about my friends! And being such a good friend, why don't we take a walk down to the store together and just get you a new crib, huh? What do you say!

[notabluesbro]

I say you're awful at saving face.

[He stands up and steps on your back as he moves to the crib.]

But since I'm so depressed that you've destroyed my unborn child's bed, I'll let you go and sulk to my wife about this after I try to fix this.

[goldenglasses]

[Vash starts to sit up, cracking his back, and just about to open his mouth with some insult then panics.]

ME!? Oh no! I'm not telling her! You're her husband! YOU tell her!

[notabluesbro]

But you broke it, didn't you? You gotta tell her.

[goldenglasses]

But YOU'RE her husband! Bad news breaking is your job.

[notabluesbro]

And breaking cribs is clearly yours. You're gonna tell her, or I'll glue all your clothes to your dresser.

[goldenglasses]

Do that and I'll put hair dye in your shampoo!