notabluesbro | 33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

[When the voices suddenly come on, the entire screen's black--prooobably because someone's ass is crushing the journal. Maybe Wolfwood's. Of course, he's too busy not noticing because-]

Iiii don't think that's right, needle noggin.

What? That's what the instructions say! You're just being stubborn because you got it all wrong...!

[there's the sound of waving paper] Ha, very funny, you being right.

I am right!

It's upside down, you idiot.... Why did I ask for your help again?

[...mumble mumble] There're so many steps...

[grumble grumble] It's a demon crib; it just won't let us build it. She's going to have a baby and we'll be stuck in the front mashing crib legs together--and could you get those damn cats outta' here! They're distracting!

Aww, what? They're just hungry! Maybe if someone fed them like a decent preacherman.

That's not my job! I don't want cats--!

[... Are you two married or something. Milly would wonde--CRACK]
....

Spikey.

... A-aha. Yeah?

Did you break it.
....

WOLFWOOD NOOOOOO [CRACK

Oh look, you can see the two of them now! Wolfwood is very sweetly bending Vash's leg at an impossible angle in the middle of a sadly wilted crib that VASH RUINED GODDAMMIT]

ERUGHGH!! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY--

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A CRIB IN THIS PLACE?!

UNCLE! UNCLEEEEEE!!! MY LEG'S BREAKING, AAAAA--

A LEG FOR A LEG!!

THAT'S SORT OF HARSH--EIEIEIEIEI!!

[[ooc: ... dual-post. enjoy two idiots.]]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

COME ON WOLFWOOD! I SAID I WAS SORRY! LET GO!

[That's it. Amelia has been forced to listen to the duo's nonsense for most of the morning because they're being idiots outside of their room. When the screams not only get louder, but suddenly come over her journal for a stereo effect?

She's done. So very done.]

YOU IDIOTS! [Yeah, now she's yelling too. And slamming her door before she stalks into the main room of the house.] What is wrong with you two?! Other people do still live here, you know. PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU TWO BEING STUPID ALL THE TIME!

I'LL LET GO WHEN YOU GET ME A NEW CRIB.

[OH LOOK YOU HAVE TWO LEGS. LET'S JUST. BREAK BOTH. YES.]

[WINCE.

He pauses, one of Vash's legs under his arm as he pulls it painfully back.]

Oh... uh. Hey, Amelia.

[how's it going :|]

[What? We're being quiet now? Vash missed that memo.] AMELIA-CHAN! SAVE ME! HE'S GOING TO BREAK MY LEG! OWOWOWOWOWOW!

I CAN'T GET YOU A NEW CRIB IF MY LEGS ARE BROKEN! ISN'T GOD SUPPOSE TO BE FORGIVING ANYWAY!?

[Amelia's young. She still has dreams. Dreams of a day going by when no one acts dumb in the Trigun house.

...Like I said. Young.]

Don't "Hey Amelia" me. [Hands on the hips now. She's being serious.] Do you have any idea how long you've been at this?

[Vash doesn't get anything so nice, though. He's louder.] Yeah, well. You broke his crib. Loudly.

I'M NOT GOD, YOU CAN DRAG YOURSELF BY YOUR TEETH!

Really loudly.

[SIGH SIGH. Though he's not letting up on the leg-bending, okay thanks.]

What will my daughter or son sleep in now, Vash? They'll have to sleep in a box...

[WHOOPS ANGER REIGNITED

twisting dat ankle now]

And it's all your fault!!

Wait. Wolfwood. Stop. Don't.

[Look, she tried to help.]

[I see what you're doing there, Nami. I see it.]

Ohhhh, I'm doing my goddamn beeeest.

It's like my arm is glued to his leg!

NO IT'S NOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! OW! OW OW! MERCY, MERCY! NAMI! HELP ME PLEASE!

YIYIYIY! How is it all MY fault!? You didn't know how to put it together EITHER!

I SAID I WAS SORRY! GET OF ME! YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY LIGHT! I CAN'T BREATH! I'M DYING! I'M REALLY DYING!

Edited 2012-04-19 00:46 (UTC)

[LOLOLOLOLOL can you hear the sound of this mystery person just laughing their head off? Because that's what he's doing. This is the best thing he's seen all day.]

[Wait. Something is broken? ...Gods, Vash, what did you do? With a quiet sigh Miyabi turns on her journal...only to catch the horrific sight of Vash's leg being bent into submission - and a very dangerous angle.

DEAR GODS.]

WA-WAIT! Don't break him! I can fix whatever's been broken! I can fix it! Don't do that!

[...Oh dear, that sounds quite a lot like a murder attempt.]

Perhaps that crib leg could be nailed or screwed back on? I'd suggest glue, but that might be too flimsy.

[A beat.]

Also, congratulations for the addition to your family.

[Manners, he has them.]

Edited 2012-04-19 01:24 (UTC)

Oh, you're asking for help? [You will never know how much she had to reel herself back from adding a 'now' on the end. B|] What do you think I'm trying to do? It's not Wolfwood's problem if he's stuck.

....

What is that...?

[Squint, as he drops Vash's face into the ground roughly.]

My journal's going crazy again.

You're not implying that I'm fat, are you? I've been doing my best [LEG TWIST] to stay in shape.

[a nod]

Seriously, I can't help how fate works, Vash. I'm just a meek helper of the Lord.

[He spins Vash unceremoniously into a headlock, looking at the journal.]

A bargain for his life, then? What're your stakes, little gal?

... [He lessens his hold on Vash into something that isn't painful. Lucky, lucky.]

Oh, thanks! It's been a pretty weird time since I learned.

Maybe Vash could nail it together...

[... squint]

Nah, he'd just make it a deathtrap for my poor kid.

OW OW OW OW! NO! You're not fat! OW! JUST - AHHHH! DON'T TWIST THAT LIKE THAT! that my lugs are weak!

OWOWOOWOW! IT'S REALLY NOT SUPPOSE TO BEND THAT WAY!

Edited 2012-04-19 20:26 (UTC)

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33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

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