notabluesbro | 33rd Confession [Butt-Video... Voice... Video...?]

[When the voices suddenly come on, the entire screen's black--prooobably because someone's ass is crushing the journal. Maybe Wolfwood's. Of course, he's too busy not noticing because-]

Iiii don't think that's right, needle noggin.

What? That's what the instructions say! You're just being stubborn because you got it all wrong...!

[there's the sound of waving paper] Ha, very funny, you being right.

I am right!

It's upside down, you idiot.... Why did I ask for your help again?

[...mumble mumble] There're so many steps...

[grumble grumble] It's a demon crib; it just won't let us build it. She's going to have a baby and we'll be stuck in the front mashing crib legs together--and could you get those damn cats outta' here! They're distracting!

Aww, what? They're just hungry! Maybe if someone fed them like a decent preacherman.

That's not my job! I don't want cats--!

[... Are you two married or something. Milly would wonde--CRACK]
....

Spikey.

... A-aha. Yeah?

Did you break it.
....

WOLFWOOD NOOOOOO [CRACK

Oh look, you can see the two of them now! Wolfwood is very sweetly bending Vash's leg at an impossible angle in the middle of a sadly wilted crib that VASH RUINED GODDAMMIT]

ERUGHGH!! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY--

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A CRIB IN THIS PLACE?!

UNCLE! UNCLEEEEEE!!! MY LEG'S BREAKING, AAAAA--

A LEG FOR A LEG!!

THAT'S SORT OF HARSH--EIEIEIEIEI!!

[[ooc: ... dual-post. enjoy two idiots.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You were both equally loud, if it comes down to it. But transforming you both would indeed mean less care for the baby... Unless you have a strong support network?

A kid needs his father, so that's no good for me...

[hum.]

Can we settle for turning Vash's hair into noodles or something?

And cursing Wolfwood so all his cigarettes explodes when he smokes them.

...Even if those spells did exist, I don't think casting them on you would be such a good idea.

Wow, spikey, you sure are a violent person. Noodle-hair is a good punishment for even thinking about messing with my cigarettes.

I only thought about it because you wanted to turn my hair into FOOD!

I truly doubt property damage and partial cannibalism are the best ways to resolve a conflict, unless your world is extremely different from mine.

Oh, it's extreeeemely different, I'm sure. We handle our disputes with wrestling, gunfights, and knocking teeth out! We're complete barbarians! [#TROLL. Vash don't deny that our planet is special.]

It's not... all that bad. [Sometimes.]

...And it's all guns and hand-to-hand combat? Not a single proper, high-quality sword in sight?

[Because that is obviously the most terrible part of that description.]

Huh... I don't know! I'm sure some of them like stabbing people...

Yeah, a couple. I'm sure of it.

...At least they've not completely forgotten traditional weapons, but I'm not so certain it's such a good thing in this case. They use their blades against people, not monsters?

We don't... exactly have monsters. Unless you count sandworms.

...

Which I wholeheartedly do

[GIVIN' YOU THE EVIL EYE, VASH.]

Hey! Sandworms are just trying to live their lives like we are! [He sees that evil eye and doesn't care.]

Sandworms also try to eat tired knights and unconscious children, when they can.

[Spoken like a tired knight who once had to fight a sandworm while lugging an unconscious child around.]

[Nod, nod. We share pain, us two.]

And they try to eat innocent priests. Just awful creatures, the spawn of evil, clearly.

They're just - they're just CREATURES is all! And that's not fair Wolfwood! They were being controlled! They couldn't help it! They wouldn't have tried to eat you if you leave them alone!

Rydia and I wanted to leave them alone, yet they still wished to eat us, no control needed.

Exactly! See, Vash? They're mean and they look gross. And they try to eat innocent people.

Well, if innocent people gave them a bit of land to stay on and stay away from them I'm sure there wouldn't be any problems at all!

And you look AND smell gross Wolfwood, but no one tries to kill you for it.

Your world's situation must be different from ours, but our sandworms surround an isolated oasis village. The locals cannot afford to stay away, if they wish to reach the closest port.

[So not commenting on that last part.]